The art of being a gentleman…
It includes many facets that go beyond looking the part.
Yes, style is my favourite topic to discuss.
But there’s a few other topics that I’ve grown comfortable with talking about.
Especially since it all ties back to the idea of being a gentleman.
I’ve said this before, style is your foot in the door.
People are more receptive to you when your appearance makes them feel at ease and willing to trust you.
Once your foot’s in the door, where do you go from there (especially when you’re short on time)?
Picture your typical day…
I’m guessing it includes a handful of meetings, hitting the gym, spending time with friends or family, and trying to find time for yourself in between it all.
With so many demands on your time, it’s not always possible to stroke up a lengthy conversation with everyone you’d like to.
Though you may always be on the go it is possible to leave a positive and lasting impression within a few quick minutes.
The secret to leaving a lasting impression with anybody is make them feel good anytime they’re around you.
In other words, the secret to opening more doors and leaving a lasting impression boils down to being charming.
Though it is easier said than done.
That’s why you’ll find the following three tips helpful.
Be Respectful Of Their Time
Nobody appreciates time and energy vampires.
Can you think of somebody off the top of your head who (no matter what) you’re always looking for an excuse to get away from?
It’s that person you always run into who seems to go on and on about anything and everything.
This is anything but charismatic.
Not only does it leave a bad taste in your mouth (because it feels like they’re stealing your time) but you’re less likely to go out of your way to help this person in the future.
One secret to being charismatic is respecting other people’s time (especially if your goal is to connect with high calibre individuals like CEOs).
This is even more true if you’re a man who’s always on the go.
Ideally your conversation will be straight to the point.
A brief moment of small talk followed by shifting your focus to what you’re trying to achieve.
If you know you’re going to run into someone based on your regular routine, try be somewhat prepared ahead of time.
Here’s an example:
You have a favourite coffee shop you frequent every morning after checking into work.
After a few weeks you begin to recognize the regulars who also grab their favourite cup of coffee there.
As you get to know them you find out that they’re well-connected within your city.
This approach helped me meet the president of one of Canada’s leading finance companies in the oil and gas sector.
We basically had breakfast together on a Sunday morning at our favourite coffee shop.
After recognizing me as a fellow regular, he struck up a conversation and we exchanged contact info before parting ways.
Even though we operate in two very different industries, he’s still a great connection that could lead to countless other possibilities.
No Matter What, Stay Upbeat
They’re difficult to be around. For good reason too.
Can you think of anyone who always seems to be in a grumpy mood or is constantly complaining?
We often look for ways to politely avoid this person if we ever catch them out in public.
People already have enough on their minds, the last thing they want to think about in a brief interaction is what’s stressing you out.
The art of being charming often means focusing on what’s going well while letting everything else slide.
It’s easily one of the most attractive traits a person can possess.
Not only that, optimism is also a great character building opportunity – one that all gentlemen gladly take advantage of.
I say this because being upbeat and charming isn’t always easy.
There’s no secret that life comes with its twists and turns.
It’s during these “challenging” moments that we’re most required to step up and find the silver lining.
So even if you run into someone you recognize after a stressful week, it’s still easy to be charming if you remember to focus on what’s going well.
Even when it’s tempting to dwell on what seems to not be working.
Authenticity Is Key
We can all smell BS from a mile away.
It’s no different when we’re the ones trying to sell it.
A person with a fake personality can’t be trusted. Of course once trust is broken, it can’t be recovered.
Being authentic will make you much more relatable, even if this means coming across as awkward and quirky.
However, attempting to be authentic can actually work against you.
When it’s forced, it never works.
The secret is to let it spew which means getting outside of your own head and allowing your interactions to grow organically.
If you’re feeling stuck, one trick that helps me get out of my head is to take a step back and focus on my breathing.
Breathe in for seven seconds, hold for one second, and release for another seven seconds.
Repeat this exercise up to seven times and you’ll easily be relaxed.
You don’t have to be the smoothest talker in the world.
Some of the most charming gentlemen actually leverage their quirky personalities to win people over.
Remember that authenticity makes you more relatable.
Perfection is an illusion (this is especially true when it comes to good conversation).
Use what you’ve learned today to open more doors and create more opportunities.
Hopefully you enjoyed today’s article.
Thank you for taking the time to read it.
While you’re here, you should check out the free style guide below…