Have you seen those guys?
They’re the life of the party. When they walk into a room, everyone notices.
Somehow everyone seems to like them even if they just met. Women want to talk to them and other men envy them.
I used to envy those guys too, until I realized that charisma is a skill any gentleman can learn.
Just like learning how to dress well, you can develop a magnetic personality too. And you can do it while staying true to your natural personality.
Over the last few years I’ve improved my own charisma with great results: attracting a great girlfriend and getting promoted at work.
I used several resources to become more charismatic but the best place to start is by understanding different charisma styles.
Olivia Fox Cabane, the author of The Charisma Myth, explains that there are four types of charisma styles: authority, vision, focus, and kindness. People pick up on each style in different ways.
The authority style is based on how you dress, how you present your body language, your job title, and other status symbols.
George Clooney and his impeccable suits are an example of authority charisma.
He looks confident, dresses well, and presents himself like a high status person. Also think about the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. He’s dressed in a perfectly tailored suit.
Compare that to the new hire out of college who’s wearing a blue dress shirt, baggy khakis, and black shoes with a brown belt.
Who do you think demonstrates more authority?
That’s right. The guy in the perfectly tailored suit.
Improving your charisma through the authority style is relatively easy: you can improve how you dress (isn’t it convenient you’re reading Street Gentlemen?) and you can improve your body language.
The key here is projecting confidence.
You don’t have to be a natural to use this style because you can improve quickly with some work. I wrote about developing confidence through body language here: Body Language – projecting confidence.
The second style, visionary charisma, comes from having a clear vision for the future and inspiring other people to share that vision.
Visionaries have a knack for leadership since people with similar goals are drawn to them.
Think about leading a team at work. You don’t necessarily have the authority to tell others what to work on, but if you develop visionary charisma you can inspire others to work toward a successful end result.
Demonstrating leadership even before you are in a leadership role is a great way to get noticed for a promotion.
Or think about going out to a party.
People who lead with vision are also very passionate and other people are drawn to passionate individuals.
If you show your passion for topics that are important to you, a woman who is also passionate about those topics will be attracted to you.
You can improve your visionary charisma by having a clear message about what’s important to you and knowing how to share that message passionately.
Pick one or two topics that are important to you and practice delivering your message when people ask you about those topics.
It might take you a few tries to get your messaging right, but once you do, it will be a powerful way to meet like-minded people.
The focus style is about living in the moment.
People are excited to be around you because you help them be spontaneous. If you are spontaneous and fun to be around, this is probably the style you want to use the most.
This style works really well on dates because if you are in the moment, the woman is also in the moment and having fun. And who doesn’t want to be around someone who helps them have a good time?
Develop your focus by learning to stay in the moment. Improve your listening skills and don’t let your mind wander.
If you find yourself losing focus, try wiggling your toes in your shoes and your mind will come back to the present.
Kindness charisma style is based on making an emotional connection with people so they feel welcomed and accepted.
Jimmy Fallon is a great example of kindness charisma as he makes his talk show guests and audience feel welcome and happy.
In your dating life, if you create an emotional connection early on with a woman she’ll trust you and want to spend time with you.
At the office, you can form genuine, emotional connections with your coworkers which is one of the keys to getting promoted.
As you get better with each charisma style, you can apply one more and the others less based on the situation you are in.
To get started, focus on the style that plays to your natural strengths first.
Out of curiosity, which style do you think suits your personality the best?
With some practice, you’ll become the guy everyone admires when he walks into the room.
About The Author:
Gopi Vajravelu teaches working professionals how to advance their careers.
You can get his free guide for Street Gentlemen readers, the 5 ways to earn a promotion, make more money, and love your career, here: Climb Up The Ladder – Advance Your Career.